Ali Wong is My Role Model: Here's How Her Story Helped Me Get Unstuck

Earlier this year, I hit an energetic low point.

An exciting work opportunity had failed to materialize, I was so homesick for the U.S. (and didn’t yet know I’d get to travel to see my family very soon), and I just felt BLAH.

One evening, languishing on the sofa, flipping through Netflix, I decided I needed a laugh and realized happily that I hadn’t yet seen comedian Ali Wong’s second comedy special, Hard Knock Wife.

That sent me down a rabbit hole and a few nights later I was in bed reading her memoir Dear Girls and giggling, my husband wondering what the heck was so funny.

Pretty soon, I had Ali in my office too, helping me get back in my groove on work and creative fronts.

I was using her as my Role Model, an exercise I learned from my first life coach Jean Johnson (and which I also wrote about here).

The Role Model exercise is SO helpful when you feel unsure about how to move forward and need some ideas on how to get started, to do what seems impossible, or to just get a jumpstart of inspiration.

Basically, you find someone who has accomplished something that you too would like to accomplish -- and you devour everything you can about their story, looking for clues and ideas that might help you on your own path.

Because while you may feel alone in whatever problem you’re facing, the truth is that many have likely gone before you, and there is much to learn from them.

Here’s what I learned from the incredible Ali Wong.

First, what I love about her: She’s funny, daring, always having fun, embracing her Asian American roots and whole self (and as a fellow Asian American, this means so much to me. I’ve had a dearth of Asian American role models).

And, she has the coolest glasses.

Throughout her career, Wong has been 100-percent committed to developing her craft, even if it meant dealing with sexism, racism, and going to shitty clubs night after night and putting herself up in front of live audiences even if it meant possibly bombing, and badly.

(In Dear Girls, Wong talks about how when she lived in New York City in her 20s, she’d do as many as nine shows a night. I don’t even know how that’s humanly possible.)

When she was starting out, her goal was to be a successful comedian - to make people laugh, to gain national recognition like the white male comics who came before her, to go on tour, to have regular work, to have TV writing gigs and films, and essentially a body of work that she could be proud of.

To get there, her basic steps were to get on stage every night to practice her craft, all the time, no excuses and no giving up.

That was the most important wisdom Ali Wong had for me right now.

The craft that she was dedicated to was making people laugh, practicing timing and delivery, honing her jokes, learning how to work and read a crowd, and all the other stuff that is way out of my comprehension.

It helped me to refocus on my own crafts - to become a better coach, writer, facilitator, leader and business owner.

To do that, I also needed to get out there every day and practice my craft. It wasn’t complicated.

I made a list of the steps I needed to take to continue improving in each area and started taking immediate action in them.

No excuses. No overcomplicating it. Coaching. Writing. Facilitating. Leading my business.

It was my version of getting up there on stage every night, no matter how I felt, and no matter how badly I might bomb.

I was doing these things simply because I wanted to get better at them.

I also put a photo of Ali on my desktop and started thinking of her as my new “boss.” If I had doubts about what to do next, I’d think about what she’d tell me to do.

A couple of weeks later, I could laugh out loud at how everything had changed. I had amazing opportunities bubbling up all over, we had tickets to go see our loved ones in the U.S., and I was feeling lit up.

Like the fiery Ali Wong. My hero.

So here are a few questions for you:

1 – Where are you stuck right now? Who could be your role model and help you find your way?

2 – What’s your craft? What meaningful thing would you like to keep practicing? It doesn’t have to be fancy or important in the world’s eyes, just yours. It’s that thing that when you do it, you also feel lit up. What next step could you take with that thing to get better?

These are two simple ways to keep adding more joy and meaning to your life.

Want more? These are the types of questions and exercises that I do with my clients, especially in my Catalyst Coaching program.

This program is for you if you’re feeling called to reset your priorities and direction for your next phase of life.

Maybe you have a big decade birthday coming up, or maybe you just know that it’s time to shift from a life and work that’s so-so to one that’s more intentional and meaningful.

My Catalyst Coaching program gives you the guidance and structure to reset your direction and take the right next steps for you.

I have limited spots available, so if you’re interested, book a complimentary informational call with me today.

Until then, I’ll just be over here, channelling my inner Ali. Who admittedly, does not have the dance moves of the real one.

Doesn’t stop me from trying though. 😅

This blog’s thumbnail photo of Ali Wong is by CleftClips.