How to Build Your Resilience So You Can Keep On With Your Dreams (Even in Tough Times)

Have you struggled in the last year with keeping on with your most important goals and dreams? 

I’ve definitely had a hard time in the pandemic (and all its offspring crises) to keep faith in my longer-term dreams. 

The other night before bed my husband and I were congratulating each other on surviving another week of juggling kids, school and work. Then my husband said, “Hey, remember how we used to think our big future adventures together would be taking a campervan around New Zealand? Look at us now!” 

We laughed and groaned (and yes, I cried a little bit inside). 

In the current reality, it still feels like our dreams are too far off, maybe impossible. 

The fact is that for as much as you invest in your vision and ideals, you're still living in an imperfect world.

Trauma, loss, failure, death, disaster: They are all part of the human experience. You can expect all of these to be part of your journey. None of us is protected from that, and no amount of positive thinking will make it otherwise.

So in order for you to keep going after what you want, you need to know how to take care of yourself when life hits you with its hardest realities.

Going after your dreams is playing the long game, and the most important thing is that you don't stop. That you never give up. That you always pick yourself up and keep trying. That you keep chipping away little by little, step by step.

Take practical steps toward building your inner resources and resilience so you can keep taking practical steps toward your dreams.  

Become more knowledgeable about and start building practices around: 

• Mindfulness and meditation 

• Self compassion

• Emotional intelligence 

• Habits, productivity and creativity

Here are some of my favorite books and experts in these areas, check out the ones that appeal to you: 

Mindfulness and meditation

Hardwiring Happiness by Dr. Rick Hanson 

Dr. Hanson works at the intersection of brain science and Buddhism, showing how you can use meditation and "taking in the good" to rewire your brain to think more positively than negatively. His soothing, calm presence is a bit like meditating with Mr. Rogers; he’s got a similarly genuine, caring heart.

Self compassion

Self Compassion by Kristen Neff 

If you struggle with a tough inner critic, you'll likely benefit from the daily self-compassion practices suggested by Kirsten Neff in her book, or through the many resources on her website. Neff is a leading expert on self-compassion, offering tools you can use to "motivate yourself with kindness rather than criticism."

Emotional Intelligence

Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett 

Knowing how to manage your emotions is so important for getting through hard times, and being able to support others through them too. 

Habits for Creativity and Productivity

Atomic Habits by James Clear 

Daily Rituals by Mason Currey 

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert 

When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel H. Pink 

I think I’ve become habits and productivity nerd because I started my career as a writer -- and then I realized that writing everyday was really hard and required finetuning your habits. If the intersection of productivity and creativity is also of interest to you, these four books are an excellent place to start. 

Try This: Build habits that support you every day

Here’s how to discover your best energy habits. 

1. Review your daily activities. Which habits make you feel good, refreshed, or restored? Maybe it’s calling your best friend, going for a run, or playing the piano.

Also pay attention to your habits that clearly drain your energy. Do what you can to avoid or eliminate these.

2. Track your top energy habits (download my simple tracker). How often can you do each habit during a week? What do you notice?

3. Make adjustments. Get specific. Chart another week.

Ultimately, you want to find out: What three daily activities give you the biggest energy boost?

Once you identify your key energy boosts, you really start to notice their benefits.

You discover you have more energy and resilience to go after what most matters to you. 

These habits and practices will support you, no matter what this complex and ever-changing world throws at you.