What It's Been Like to Start School in Spain
My kids started school two weeks ago.
I spent a glorious three days happy that my kids have the chance to go back to in-person school and that I could finally get some work done! (Really, I was on top of the world.)
Then, both kids got sick.
Colds, with a terrible cough. I took my daughter to the doctor to see if they wanted to give her a COVID test (no). So we presumed it was a normal cold, which then I also got. I can attest: It was a doozy.
That same week, a student at her school tested positive for COVID. Stressful. (Our rural area actually has a higher rate of infection at the moment than Barcelona. 😨)
Yesterday, both kids went back to school for the first time in 10 days. That's right. They were in school for 3 days and out for 10.
This might be the usual stressful reality of a mom with small kids just starting school and always getting sick but COVID really adds something extra to the mix.
The stress of wondering if they're sick with it, if you're sick with it, and whether they or you are spreading it to anyone else.
Also because of COVID, we don't have my in-laws' usual help with childcare. When one of us is sick or when we have to work and the kids are sick, they often step in to save the day.
But now, because we want to limit their possible exposure to COVID, we decided they wouldn't help us with the kids these first weeks of school to see how everything would go.
So now childcare is just between my husband and me and how creative we can get with our self-employed schedules.
I started feeling plagued by the feeling these last couple of weeks that being a mom with a job outside the home is simply impossible during the time of COVID.
Add to that the experiences of other moms I know, some who have had to quit their jobs to homeschool their young kids, or who are juggling both remote work and supervising kids in virtual school and at near breaking point on a daily basis.
Can you identify?
It feels so impossible sometimes.
Every time COVID pushes things to the extreme, I have to come back to some basic ideas that help:
1. Feel all the feelings. I wrote about this more in-depth recently and it's true here too. It's okay to have big feelings amid all this sometimes, and it's healthier to feel it, be with it and talk about it, than to try to suppress it.
2. Take care of yourself. For me lately, the minimum is especially to get plenty of sleep, to regularly meet with my mastermind of other women business owners (moral support!), to chat on the phone with family and friends I can have a laugh with (more moral support!) and to have some fun ways to disconnect. Some of the ways I've been doing that lately is:
Put my phone in a drawer. (Did you know that having your smartphone next to you can impair your thinking?)
Go outside with my kids.
Listen a favorite podcast (like The Moth, or How I Built This).
Watch Queer Eye (especially the Tokyo series).
3. Simplify things, both internally and externally. By this I mean, simplify the things going on in your head, and simplify any parts of your reality/life that you can, until you make it through the difficult moment.
For example, when I got sick, I had a lot of chatter and worry inside about how I had so much going on with my business, I could not get sick and lose momentum.
When that worry started to cause distress, that was my signal that it was time to massively simplify my business goals for the next couple of weeks, let go and trust that things would still be okay.
In day-to-day life, my husband and I also simplified our schedule. We canceled outings, postponed errands and stayed home two weekends in a row to just rest (and work on my new office space, more on that later)!
4. Accept that this is the new reality, and do what you can to prepare for next time it throws you for a loop. Acceptance is another internal game. Sometimes it's not easy.
Here's what I'm starting to see though: There is always opportunity in crisis. You have to decide if you're going to be one of the people who are going to be ready to find it, create it, step into it.
Today, my kids could totally come home from school with another round of colds, and our carefully planned schedule for the week could again be thrown out the window.
Maybe even -- because they're prone to bronchitis and lung issues -- we might have to totally pull them out of school and let go of our hope that they get to socialize and regularly be with other kids this year.
We just don't know what this crazy new reality is going to throw at us.
What I do know though, is that I do want to be one of these people who find opportunity in crisis, to make something new and better. I also know that I'm going to keep going in the direction of my dreams, because that's what gives meaning and brightness to my life.
So I'm going to work to keep getting better at adapting at this reality. To staying calm, to staying present, to remaining grateful for all that I have right now, and to staying focused on what's possible for tomorrow.
How about you? What's been helping you to cope with everything that COVID is throwing your way?
And especially for those of you out there with kids, what's helping you manage?
Sending you strength and peace to find your own opportunities in crisis.