Where Have You Gotten Your Career Guidance? How to Fill the Gap and Find Your Direction

One of the things I was most worried about when I wanted to take a year-long career break, was what other people would think. 

Specifically when they heard that I wanted to take time off to travel, and to figure out what I wanted to do next in my career. 

It was so hard to admit, at 34, that I wasn't sure what was next. 

I thought that I should have things figured out by this age. 

It was embarrassing.

I hated the idea that people would think that I was lost. 

No one likes to feel lost. 

But let's face it, we all feel lost sometimes. We all have self-doubts. 

I meet with a lot of professionals – successful professionals, in the middle of their careers, with titles like director, manager, VP – and they all are reaching out for coaching because they aren't clear on what to do next with their career – and they want to talk to me privately because sometimes it is hard to admit to others. 

We're all operating under the idea that we should have everything figured out. 

But we don't. And it's okay. 

Work is complex. Figuring out what type of work is really right for us, takes a lot of trial and error, and learning along the way over many years. It also doesn't help if there's social stigma about appearing uncertain about your career in front of other people, which keeps you from reaching out for support when you need it. 

Overall, a big source of inspiration for me in my work as a life and career coach, is that there's a real dearth of career guidance, and there's a lot of factors that go into that. 

It wasn't until I was 30 and I'd hired my first life coach (in total desperation because I was thinking of quitting my job and didn't know if it was the right decision) – that I discovered that there were strategies and tools that I could use to be more intentional in my career. That I could make decisions that actually added up and took me closer to where I ultimately wanted to go. 

THAT's what I call career guidance. 

Looking back over my 20s, I don't necessarily regret all the jobs and experiences I had, but it is a shame I spent so long in jobs that I didn't like and weren't the right fit, and that weren't helping me master the skills that really light me up.

Where are we supposed to get career guidance? Who has guided you in your career? 

Teachers? College professors? 

Parents? Other relatives? 

Mentors? 

I do think that some people get it from their family. Or sometimes from a special mentor who has gone out of their way. They’re the lucky ones! 

The answer to where to get career guidance is not always clear, and I think your own background and culture has a lot to do with it. 

Like many of my clients, I'm from an immigrant, mixed race background, and sometimes I think about the effects of that on our career trajectory. Class and race can definitely have an impact. 

For example, in my family, my grandparents were focused mainly on surviving, especially for my Japanese grandparents who left poverty in Japan, only to then be put in U.S. internment camps during WWII.

When it came to my parent's careers, they were focused on moving from survival to security, especially being able to provide more opportunity for their children. The expectations for me then, felt like I was supposed to do great things with my career – but who in my family lineage was there to help me with that? There wasn't a precedent for that. 

In my seven years talking with clients and others about their career paths, I've heard similar stories. 

For example, I remember a client also saying: I’ve been kind of the black sheep in my family. We have a family business but I didn't want to do it. So when I chose to do my own thing, I really didn't have my family's support. I’ve had to make my own way. 

There are so many different circumstances that can contribute to us not getting the support that really would have helped us avoid a lot of struggle and missed opportunities in our careers. 

In my work, I want to do all I can to help remedy that, by sharing all that I've learned with as many people as I can about: 

• Understanding what's the right work for you: work that fills you up and helps you contribute meaningfully in the world,

• How to get clear on what you ideally want out of work (and life), and  

• How to make career decisions that take you closer and closer to those ideals. 

Has this made you curious about your own career guidance? Have you ever stopped to think about all the influences that have gone into your own career trajectory? 

Most people get their career guidance from a hodge-podge of different places and people, books, articles, school counselors. It can be a weird mix, and not always terribly effective -- or right for you. A lot of advice doesn't take into account your own version of success. 

All of us are unique in what's going to make a happy and productive life for us. 

This is why it's so important to have a set of strategies and tools that you can adapt to your own unique strengths, situation and vision for what success looks like in work and life. 

If you'd love this right now for your own career path, check out my new self-paced online career course, Illuminate Your Career Path in 5 Steps. It's got the best of my career direction guidance, tools and strategies, in a super accessible and affordable format.

Enrollment closes Monday, October 11, so check it out today!