Week 4 of Lockdown: All the Emotions and Two Hopeful Ideas

Apr 14

I heard from a several other people that week four of lockdown (or "shelter in place" as the U.S. has more nicely named it), has been tough.

For me, it was because it was a mix of all this:

Fatigue around being there for the kids, at home, all the time. Perhaps in the earlier weeks I was still running on gung-ho, I-can-do-this! energy and that's worn off now. The kids still have lots of emotional processing that they need help with, and it's hard to dedicate all the time and patience to that when you're in the midst of that yourself, and trying to work too!

Fresh disappointment popped up when we turned over the wall calendar in the kitchen to a new month. Goodbye to all those plans in March and now April. Fortunately my daughter's new hobby is writing everyone's birthday in our calendar, so we're filling in the many blank spaces.

Deep sadness as I heard of some of the first deaths from the coronavirus within my personal circle and local community.

Annoyance about too much information. In my last post, I mentioned how I'd cut down on news consumption. Last week, I took a social media break and deleted Instagram and Facebook from my phone. I'd noticed that my inner state was constantly being hijacked by whatever I'd just seen on social media. I wanted to protect my own time and space so I could listen to myself about my own reactions, observations and insights about all this. What am I feeling? What am I thinking? What am I learning? It's been good.

Worry. My dad had a necessary surgery. He's doing fine, recovering at home, but I hated not being there (though no doubt I'd only annoy him with any attempts to fuss over him) and, y'know, it being the middle of a pandemic. Also, this week Spain is slightly loosening its lockdown restrictions and allowing construction and factory workers to return to their jobs. Is it too soon?

How about you?

Does any of this resonate? How are you doing with all these emotions?

There have been lots of bright spots this past week too. Among those that I'm thankful for:

Lots of good teamwork and communication with my husband. We're getting better at splitting work and childcare between us!
Some inspiring and heartfelt conversations with clients. All my clients have had to put their future plans on hold, be flexible, and go with the flow. There's been loss, disappointment, adjustment to a new reality. Yet, I've seen them all respond with a continued commitment to their dreams, even though the how and when might happen much differently than they expected.
Dance parties with our kids.
Warm springtime sun and a glorious moon.

Two ideas that have been giving me hope:

1. Vastly simplifying life has created space, for all of us.

2. There's so much that we're learning about ourselves in that space.

We're learning about —

what we can do without;

what we must have;

what we want to keep;

what we want to change, and

which of our dreams we don't ever want to give up.

This is really special.