Why People Talk Themselves Out of Making a Change (You Might Be Surprised)
No doubt, the hardest part about making a big change is getting started.
The very beginning is when people are most likely to talk themselves out of it, put it off, or allow themselves to get sidetracked.
Why is getting started so difficult?
Here are two common reasons that I observe in my work -- and they might suprise you!
Factor #1: Low Morale
Underlying truth: The moment when most of us decide to finally make a change is precisely the moment that things have never been worse.
For example, you've realized that you've got to get a new job because you're no longer doing work you like, your boss keeps micromanaging your work, it's harder and harder to feel engaged.
It's all convinced you that you finally need a change, but unfortunately it’s also the moment when you’re feeling low.
Your self-confidence is down and your self-criticism is up. Your less-than-ideal situation is also taking a major toll on your energy.
You don’t feel like you’ve got anything leftover at the end of a day to put toward getting a new job, much less a new career and, what if what you really need is a totally new life?
Understandably, this is where people get shut down.
Factor #2: It Looks Too Risky
Underlying truth: As you contemplate this big change, you can only think of what you have to lose because you're still spending 99% of your time inside your current reality, and only 1% inside the future you want. (Exact percentages vary, but you get the idea. :))
From here, your vision of what else could be possible feels vague at best, a delusion at worst.
You spend so much time on worst-case scenarios that best-case scenarios don't even occur to you.
You start to talk yourself out of your change, because the whole thing becomes too scary and risky.
To return to the “new job” example: You spend more time thinking about how you’ll never find a job with as good of pay and benefits than about the job you really want, as well as your ideal boss, salary, benefits and location.
Without a motivating vision of your ideal job, you can't get past your dread of networking, interviews and applications. So you keep putting it all off. Now you're miserable at work and upset with yourself for endlessly procrastinating the job search.
People come to me for help at the initial stages of their big change because these two factors keep shutting them down.
This is the moment where my support can make the biggest difference.
After years of experience, I’ve honed a process for helping people get around these roadblocks. The first four steps are:
Understand where you are right now, and show self-compassion for how you got here.
Revisit (and embrace) your strengths, talents, experience and accomplishments.
Take daily action to boost your energy and morale. Self-care is no longer optional!
Articulate a vision so clear and compelling that it can motivate you through moments of fear and self-doubt.
If you’re currently in the midst of a struggle to set your own change in motion, I'd love to share how you can use these steps in your own life, and answer your questions personally.
Book a free 20-minute call with me and we'll get you moving.
